Yes, you read that correctly. My husband (aka Odin) gives me earworms and the worst part is that he gets great joy out of doing it. Now before you start to get grossed out or assume we have hygiene problems let me explain. Earworms are songs, jingles, or basically anything that is melodic that you can’t keep from singing or humming. Since your ear is the entry point for hearing things that is how they get in and then the next thing you know they are stuck in your brain like little worms so I call them earworms. The earworms are very hard to remove! You will get to the point where it feels like it has been stuck in your brain forever and make you seriously consider major surgery (possibly a lobotomy) to get it out. Sometimes the only way to get a particularly annoying one out of your head is by replacing it with a new one but then you are taking a big risk that the new one isn’t as bad as the original. It never actually works that way, but it is either that or a power drill. I leave the choice up to you.
I recently read (no I don’t remember where so don’t ask) that women, musicians, people who are neurotic and/or stressed are more susceptible than others (aka the normal people). I told Odin this and he said didn’t shock him that it was so easy to get them in my head since I am a woman who is neurotic and constantly stressed. I explained that I wasn’t a musician so that should lessen my chances and he told me that he agreed based on my attempts to sing when I am in the shower.
Side Note: Now that I am writing this I feel like he was saying my singing is bad. That isn’t possible because everyone knows that no one sounds bad when they sing in the shower. (This is a rule of life that you need to remember so you can pass it on to future generations) My advice for you: If someone walks in on you showering, hears you singing and tells you that you were bad you need to do 2 things. 1) Tell them it is not your voice that is bad but the acoustics in the room. 2) Scream “GET OUT” as loud as you can over and over until the person leaves. I tell you to do this because someone just walked in on you showering which is strange, especially if you don’t know the person, plus you don’t need that kind of negativity (or a stalker) in your life so why not come off as crazy which will hopefully keep it from happening again. This advice could save your life or the person who walked in on you if it is your significant other or child. No need to thank me. I’m just doing my part to help humanity!
Odin LOVES to put earworms in my head and even better if it is in the morning when I am in the shower so that I cannot escape his cruelty. He finds nothing funnier than one getting stuck in the morning and then me blurting it out over dinner that night. (In my opinion, it is a very demented thing to do to the mother of his children but he still does it.) His favorite types of earworms are commercial jingles. There are quite a few he loves to do over and over but the top ones are the Chili’s song for their ribs and Red Robin’s silly responsive jingle to their name. The worst one for me and the one that gives him the most pleasure is from the McDonald’s commercial that was out a few years ago where the talking fish sings a song about its need for their awful fish sandwich.
Secret Side Note: I do have to share with you a secret about how the earworms really do help me. Yes, they really do get stuck in my head and annoy me but I use these earworms as my reason for not remembering things Odin tells me or asks me to do. I explain to him that I cannot be expected to remember to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer when these random songs/jingles pop into my head and distract me. Truthfully I can remember but I choose not to because he should have to deal with some frustration after putting me through “torture by earworms” for his pleasure.
As if it weren’t enough that Odin does this to me almost anything I encounter throughout my day can become one. Here is a recent example of how extreme my susceptibility to earworms really is: I was reading the caption for a picture my son-in-law (The Mechanic) posted of my granddaughter (Song Bird). It was the first line of a song because she had her hand up like they do in the Beyoncé video.** Then every time I was reading or being quiet I would sing that line until I realized what I was doing and get frustrated with myself. I became really frustrated because this time I didn’t even hear the song. It was just a written lyric I read on Facebook. This doesn’t seem fair.
It is possible that my earworms are always in there and never actually leave. Then they have their fellow earworms stalk me trying to find a way in so that there are more and more. The reason for this is that they then treat my brain like a tag-team match just tagging different ones in at random. This is to prove which ones can frustrate me the most and be named Tag-Team Grand Champions of all the other earworms. Wow! This explains so much about my attention span! How can I focus on a wrestling match going on all the time? Major breakthrough achieved without having to go to therapy!! Score 1 for me!
Another Side Note: Maybe I do need to go to therapy if this is where my thoughts are leading me. Who knows I might get lots of rest and some good drugs if I keep thinking this way. Hold on..this might not be a good idea. That might allow the earworms to take control and my brain could be plunged into some type of wresting death-match. My luck would be that the one that survives will probably be the fish song from McDonald’s. Best not to risk it!
So after writing this, I have figured out that what I really need is something that will keep them out like a shield over my ears or an even better idea would be tape for Odin’s mouth since he is always able to get them in my head and it might prevent him doing it going forward. The second option sounds the best but then how will I be able to get out of moving the laundry? I guess the worms will have to stay because there is nothing I hate worse than laundry….OK maybe mopping!
** Not sure the rules on using copyrighted stuff in a blog so I am hoping you know what song I am referring to for the picture. I am too terrified to put the actual song or lyrics because the last thing I can afford is lawyers to defend my blog if she decided to sue me. Please, amazing, talented, smart and beautiful Beyoncé don’t sue me! Please!!