Tag: family

Blue Packages Make My Day

Hi!  My name is Karen and I am addicted to Zulily.

I am not ashamed to say it or of my need to shop every day at this site.  I might not always buy something but visiting this site is a very important part of my morning routine.  Sometime between 9:00 – 10:00 am every day (yes weekends too) I go and look at all the new amazing things it offers.   I look for items for myself, my family and the house.  It is truly amazing what you can find on the site and that is why it lures me like a siren to the death of my credit card.

You might be wondering if Zulily is paying me for this blog post and the answer is…NO!!  My husband (Odin) says that they should give me stock after all the money I have spent over the years.  I like to look at it like most people do when it comes to shopping…it is therapy.  Therefore I am investing in my mental health.  I feel that it is only fitting that I am paying them because I get so much out of it…happiness and therapy.  I did do one thing to appease him…I deleted the app off my iPad and iPhone.  Now I just go to the website on my devices which works just as well so another compromise that doesn’t actually affect me!  Win-Win!!

Side Note:  He says the same thing about Target which is why I am not allowed to go in there without him anymore.  Everyone knows that you go in with a list that should total about $40 and come out with over $100 worth of stuff that you try to justify by saying you just forgot to add it to the list. (At least that is my excuse.) It is the rule of Target.  Oh and if you are one of those people that can get in and out without buying extra stuff then you need to seek professional help because that is just not normal.

 So why do I shop on this site?  The deals are amazing and I always find unique things.  My youngest (Aspie Girl) loves the original Star Trek series and thanks to the site she has nightgowns that look like the uniforms they wore on the show.  I recently ordered this plastic thing that looks like a woman (it supposed to be a Mom).  You fill it with water and then put it in the microwave.  She heats up and steam comes out of her head that cleans the microwave.  Funny huh?  I thought so.  On top of the unique things, I have also bought some amazing clothes and baby gear which I justified is needed because when you have granddaughters you need to be prepared.  Overall it is an amazingly addicting site.

Another Side Note:  Here is an example of why Odin doesn’t appreciate my addiction.  One of my purchases from a few years ago were solar powered fans for my family’s cars.  They sit in a cracked open window and circulate the air in the car which is great during the summer because it keeps the car cool.  (Safety Disclaimer – this is for when it is parked…not when it is being driven.  That might make it come loose, hit another car and cause a massive accident which knowing my luck would happen on the Highway of Hell causing me to sit in even more traffic.)  I bought 3 and guess where they are now?  They are in the boxes on a shelf in the storage room.  Now before you get all “wow she like to waste money” (like Odin does) let me say that I always plan to give them to the family but I usually remember them in the winter which won’t make them very useful.  So I rationalize that if I give it to them when they won’t get used they will likely be lost by summer.  Therefore it is better that I keep them so that I can give them out when it warms up and then I promptly forget about it again until the following winter and so the cycle starts again.  I promise that I always have the best of intentions…it is the ability to remember things that are the issue.

Here is the best and worst part for me.  When the items arrive they are usually in a bright blue vinyl bag that stands out from the rest of the mail.  Just seeing that bag fills me with great joy but then that can change quickly if it is Odin that has gotten the mail that day.  If he sees it then I must endure the eye roll, dramatic sigh and the lecture about wasting money.  Now here are the 2 things about his reaction that I get so upset about.  First, it isn’t a waste of money because every household needs Christmas throw pillows even if it is July because they are still functional as back support and it’s not like anyone sees them when I am sitting against them so it’s is still fulfilling its purpose thus making it worth the money.  Another example…EarSeeds to help me lose weight.  They are little seeds that have a sticky paper on them.  I am supposed to put them on a pressure point on my ear and it will curb my appetite.  It’s like visiting the acupressure doctor without having to pay the insurance co-pay every time so as you can tell that saves us money. (OK…so I have only used them twice in the 4 months I have had them but that isn’t the point…I saved money!!)

The second thing I get upset about is that he seems so shocked by the packages when they arrive but since he pays the credit card bill he has to see the charges hit.  It’s not like the company thinks “Wow let’s give her the stuff and then charge her months later.”  No.  They bill me and then ship it…that is how the system works!  So why does he get all upset about something he is forewarned will happen?  Seriously!  Why ruin my happy moment for something you already know about? It’s like he wants to take away my happiness or he just really hates those bags because of the color.  I’m hoping it is the second but I really believe it is the first.

So here is my dilemma?  Do I stop my addiction or continue to feed it?  Since I was just on the site this morning you can guess what the answer is because let’s be real…shopping is one of the best therapies in the world plus you never know what you might find.  (Look…..a paracord survival safety watch….that might come in handy the next time I need a paracord for…..who am I kidding I will probably never need a paracord but it might still be a good idea to be prepared. Buy!)

 

Karen

Please don’t forget to share this with others.  (Seriously…I’m begging)

My Hubby Gives Me Earworms

Yes, you read that correctly.  My husband (aka Odin) gives me earworms and the worst part is that he gets great joy out of doing it.  Now before you start to get grossed out or assume we have hygiene problems let me explain.  Earworms are songs, jingles, or basically anything that is melodic that you can’t keep from singing or humming.  Since your ear is the entry point for hearing things that is how they get in and then the next thing you know they are stuck in your brain like little worms so I call them earworms.  The earworms are very hard to remove!  You will get to the point where it feels like it has been stuck in your brain forever and make you seriously consider major surgery (possibly a lobotomy) to get it out.  Sometimes the only way to get a particularly annoying one out of your head is by replacing it with a new one but then you are taking a big risk that the new one isn’t as bad as the original.  It never actually works that way, but it is either that or a power drill.  I leave the choice up to you.

I recently read (no I don’t remember where so don’t ask) that women, musicians, people who are neurotic and/or stressed are more susceptible than others (aka the normal people). I told Odin this and he said didn’t shock him that it was so easy to get them in my head since I am a woman who is neurotic and constantly stressed.  I explained that I wasn’t a musician so that should lessen my chances and he told me that he agreed based on my attempts to sing when I am in the shower.

Side Note:  Now that I am writing this I feel like he was saying my singing is bad.  That isn’t possible because everyone knows that no one sounds bad when they sing in the shower. (This is a rule of life that you need to remember so you can pass it on to future generations)  My advice for you:  If someone walks in on you showering, hears you singing and tells you that you were bad you need to do 2 things.  1) Tell them it is not your voice that is bad but the acoustics in the room.  2) Scream “GET OUT” as loud as you can over and over until the person leaves.  I tell you to do this because someone just walked in on you showering which is strange, especially if you don’t know the person, plus you don’t need that kind of negativity (or a stalker) in your life so why not come off as crazy which will hopefully keep it from happening again.  This advice could save your life or the person who walked in on you if it is your significant other or child.  No need to thank me.  I’m just doing my part to help humanity!

Odin LOVES to put earworms in my head and even better if it is in the morning when I am in the shower so that I cannot escape his cruelty.  He finds nothing funnier than one getting stuck in the morning and then me blurting it out over dinner that night.  (In my opinion, it is a very demented thing to do to the mother of his children but he still does it.)  His favorite types of earworms are commercial jingles.  There are quite a few he loves to do over and over but the top ones are the Chili’s song for their ribs and Red Robin’s silly responsive jingle to their name.  The worst one for me and the one that gives him the most pleasure is from the McDonald’s commercial that was out a few years ago where the talking fish sings a song about its need for their awful fish sandwich.

Secret Side Note:  I do have to share with you a secret about how the earworms really do help me.  Yes, they really do get stuck in my head and annoy me but I use these earworms as my reason for not remembering things Odin tells me or asks me to do.  I explain to him that I cannot be expected to remember to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer when these random songs/jingles pop into my head and distract me.  Truthfully I can remember but I choose not to because he should have to deal with some frustration after putting me through “torture by earworms” for his pleasure.

As if it weren’t enough that Odin does this to me almost anything I encounter throughout my day can become one. Here is a recent example of how extreme my susceptibility to earworms really is:  I was reading the caption for a picture my son-in-law (The Mechanic) posted of my granddaughter (Song Bird).  It was the first line of a song because she had her hand up like they do in the Beyoncé video.**  Then every time I was reading or being quiet I would sing that line until I realized what I was doing and get frustrated with myself.  I became really frustrated because this time I didn’t even hear the song.  It was just a written lyric I read on Facebook.  This doesn’t seem fair.

It is possible that my earworms are always in there and never actually leave.  Then they have their fellow earworms stalk me trying to find a way in so that there are more and more.  The reason for this is that they then treat my brain like a tag-team match just tagging different ones in at random.  This is to prove which ones can frustrate me the most and be named Tag-Team Grand Champions of all the other earworms. Wow!  This explains so much about my attention span!  How can I focus on a wrestling match going on all the time?  Major breakthrough achieved without having to go to therapy!!  Score 1 for me!

Another Side Note:  Maybe I do need to go to therapy if this is where my thoughts are leading me.  Who knows I might get lots of rest and some good drugs if I keep thinking this way.  Hold on..this might not be a good idea.  That might allow the earworms to take control and my brain could be plunged into some type of wresting death-match.  My luck would be that the one that survives will probably be the fish song from McDonald’s.  Best not to risk it!

So after writing this, I have figured out that what I really need is something that will keep them out like a shield over my ears or an even better idea would be tape for Odin’s mouth since he is always able to get them in my head and it might prevent him doing it going forward.  The second option sounds the best but then how will I be able to get out of moving the laundry?  I guess the worms will have to stay because there is nothing I hate worse than laundry….OK maybe mopping!

 

** Not sure the rules on using copyrighted stuff in a blog so I am hoping you know what song I am referring to for the picture.  I am too terrified to put the actual song or lyrics because the last thing I can afford is lawyers to defend my blog if she decided to sue me.  Please, amazing, talented, smart and beautiful Beyoncé don’t sue me!  Please!!