Tag: butidontmop

Ode To My Recliner

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

1. You keep my feet off the ground so my ankles won’t swell.
2. You allow me to recline all the way flat or at various angles.
3. Your headrest moves so I can always see the TV.
4. Your can charge my iPad while I’m playing it.
5. After moving around there is enough room for my dog to cuddle too. (see pic)

I have had recliners in my life off and on over the years. Sofas, individual chairs and now love seats. Each was special in its own way and were wonderful. If you’ve ever known someone who had one or had one yourself then you know how important they are to life.

I can remember being a child at my grandparents house and my Granddaddy having one that was HIS chair. No one sat in it if he was around. It was HIS! It always seemed so big and comfy with that smell that reminded me of him. As I got older it still seemed like the greatest thing (like forbidden fruit) and as you would expect he got even more ornery about anyone using it. He loved his chairs over the years and even had one in his room with his TV so he could watch whatever he wanted. It was Man Cave 1.0 (the first one).

Then my parents bought recliners. We had assigned seats but there was enough room for everyone. When my grandparents would visit I always got kicked out of my seat and “calling it” did nothing. (Neither did calling “Shotgun” to get the front seat in the car…..which was sad since I was an only child.). Then came the day my parents gave my husband and I one of their big individual chairs because they were moving. Later when the matching one didn’t fit at their new condo we got it too.

I honestly believe my marriage has gone well because we had separate recliners to sit in every night and still do. We are close enough to hold hands but not enough to share popcorn. Let me explain the reasoning behind my theory: In my first marriage we had no recliners and it barely lasted a year. My current (and last) marriage has had multiple recliners in various forms and we have been married for 17 years. See???? Recliners = Long Marriage. My parents still have them (new ones not the old ones they bought when I was younger which are probably in a junk heap somewhere) and they have been married for over 35 years. My grandparents had them and they were married for over 50 years.

So if you know someone getting married soon make sure to tell them to get a couple of recliners before their 5th anniversary because it’s like marriage glue. Also, don’t forget to tell them that when things get messy get a mop. Just don’t have them call me because as you know….I Don’t Mop.

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(This was posted to Facebook on December 29, 2018)

My Brain Is Structurally Sound

Hey everyone it’s been a long time since I posted anything and for that I’m very sorry. Things have been very chaotic for the last few months. I took on a new job which has kept me very busy but is one of the most incredible career moves I have ever made. (I’ll talk more about that another time.) This post is about explaining what has happened over the last few months for me medically.

As some of you might know I was diagnosed with early stage vascular dementia. This was after multiple tests including MRIs, CT scans, and other intelligence and memory testing. Multiple doctors had agreed that it was the correct diagnosis. So I started planning for the day that I would not remember anything in my life anymore. Some things were hard to think about:

  1. How would my family feel when I couldn’t remember them.
  2. What kind of home would they put me in?
  3. Would I forget which food I hate and end up having to eat it because I couldn’t remember that I hated it? (Peas….icky, squishy, balls of goo)
  4. What kind of adult diapers are the best and who would change them?
  5. How will I remember all my passwords when I barely remember them now.
  6. Will the Washington Capitals win the Stanley Cup before I lose my memory? Then they did and I wondered how I could try to remember it.
  7. Would my family keep me at home and make me one of those tapes like Drew Barrymore’s character had in Fifty First Dates. (Answer was no because VCRs are no longer around)

Then came the best day! I was seen by the top neurologists at a world renowned University who reviewed all of my tests and decided that my brain was fine. OK they didn’t say fine, they said it was “structurally sound”. Turns out I’m too type-A and that I take on so much that my brain just can’t keep up. Their advice to me was to slow down, stop worrying about everyone/everything, and try to relax. Ha Ha! My parents labeled me the Cruise Director** when I was young and it’s a fitting title. So this was like asking me to stop breathing but I agreed to try.

**Hopefully you know what a cruise director is, if not then think of Julie from the show Love Boat. If you don’t know who that is or the show this might not be the blog for you. Better yet look it up and watch some episodes especially the ones with Charro.

So, what kind of changes did I make? Well, I continued working on my MBA, started a new job (as I said before) and most importantly tried to stop running everyone/everything. Tried as in it lasted 2-3 weeks then I just couldn’t take it. So as you might have guessed I changed nothing. It’s hard to change when you’ve been the same way for so long, but at the age of 47 I am not sure I want to change. There are so many things in my life that give me joy like singing in the car at the top of my lungs, talking to my children and grandchildren, binge watching shows with my husband, and making sure I am informed about my parents physical well-being. (Only child paranoia.)

There is no sense in trying to change when I just don’t want to, plus I like my life messy especially because I Don’t Mop!

(Originally posted to Facebook on December 23, 2018)