Category: Husband

Flying – Solo vs Family Travel

We just returned from a family vacation and I now realize why it is easier to travel alone especially when I am flying.   In my job I fly about once a month and love doing it so I thought flying with my family would be just as great.  Well it wasn’t but it also wasn’t horrible….just messy!

When I fly solo for work it is very smooth because I have a system of how to do things.  The first thing I do is park in the same lot every time because it is the cheaper option thus saving my company money.  Next I head into the airport.  Since I have achieved a certain level on my preferred airline I no longer have to pay to check a bag & have priority check-in.  I use my medium sized hard sided luggage and check it each time I fly.  It’s just nice to have the extra room plus then I only have to carry my backpack through the airport.  So I go to the priority desk, check my bag and then head off to security with my boarding pass loaded in the app on my phone.  Lucky for me I have Global Entry (thanks to the hubby a few years ago) so I always have TSA Pre-Check.  It really does speed up the security line so I love it.  I then make my way through the airport, grab a snack and get to my gate.  In my airport this means taking subway type trains, people movers, really tall escalators and even shuttles depending on which of the gates I am flying out of.  It is like Planes, Trains and Automobiles but without the amazing humor of John Candy.  (Does anyone else miss that comic genius?  He was just so funny.)  While I am waiting I usually people watch or check emails on my phone.  Then it is time to board and again thanks to my status I am in group 2 no matter where I am sitting on the plane.  Then it is just sitting back and working or watching a movie.  Once the plane lands I just take my time getting my bag and then head to my hotel.  It’s just easy and efficient.

That is the opposite of what it is like traveling on vacation with my family.  It’s not even all of us, just me, the hubby and out youngest (Becks aka AutismGirl).  So let’s just start with parking at the airport.  This is a big thing because of the many choices.  Do we park in the economy lot or the daily garage and if it is the garage do we park in 1 or 2?  This is a conversation that my husband has out loud with himself as we are driving.  Just as he decides it will be garage 1 he opens up a new debate because the thinks the best idea is to drop us off at departures, park the car in garage 1 and then join us.  That way we can check-in and check the bags.  I remind him that the free first checked bag only applies to him and I because Becks doesn’t have status.  The debate of where to park starts again and finally it is determined that we are all going to garage 1 and using the underground tunnel to get to the main terminal.

Once arriving in the terminal we go to check-in and find out that both of us have been upgraded to first class.  (It’s a 10:30 pm flight to Florida on a Friday so no one is on it.)  Now we have an issue because Becks cannot fly by herself in Economy Plus.  This starts another debate about what to do.  Should we decline the upgrade, should one of us take the upgrade with her and the other sit in the back or should we pay to move her into first class with us?  At this time I decide to talk to the agent to explain the situation.  I produce the letter that we have from her doctor that confirm her Autism diagnosis and ask what they can do to help.  They make a couple of calls and the next thing we know all 3 of us are in first.  Woo Hoo…way to start a vacation!

Now comes security which is hard for her but it is going to be easier this time because it is after 8:30 pm and no one is at the airport trying to get through.  Plus we have TSA Pre-Check so it will be smooth sailing.  I put my bag on the belt, grab a bin for her iPhone and headphones and now we are ready to go through.  So I go first, then she run through which she ends by jump on me and almost knocking me down.  Hubby gets through too after a debate about his belt buckle and if it will set off the detectors.  So off we go to the gate.  I decided to have Becks guide us to see how she does.  So she looks for the signs and gets us to the place to head out to our gate.  I should mention that this point I am carrying my backpack with my laptop and she is carrying hers with all her stuff.  The hubby has nothing but somehow ends up with a glass case, iPhone, iPad and other items that are also in my bag because he didn’t think he needed to carry a bag. (Seriously!)  We get to the gate and wait.  While I was sitting there I could not people watch or check my emails because I am answering constant questions from the hubby.  Now, he flies often enough to know how things work so this is not nervousness…it is just something that I take as trying to annoy me to death after 9:00 pm.

Time to board so we get in our line.  Becks and I are sitting together and the hubby is a few rows up.  It was so nice and she was great.  She watched a movie on my iPhone and drank juice.  Overall first class was nice.  Then we land and she is really tired but also excited.  It’s after 12:00 am and she needs to crash.  We go pick-up the bags which was easy because no one else seems to be in this airport either.  I then tell my husband that instead of taking the shuttle to the hotel we are just going to take a cab.  That creates another debate about cost, time efficiency, etc.  I am at a breaking point and just want to lay down.  I have worked all day and just want to go to bed.  So I grab Becks and head to the cab stand.  Luckily the hubby joins us so we all get to the hotel.  We check-in and crash!

***Please notice that this one family flight took 4 paragraphs vs 1 for my solo journey.***

Thinking back on all of this I have decided that solo travel is great and the reason is because I am making all the decisions.  There is no other adult I have to work with or watch have an out loud debate with themselves.  It is just me, the airport and my airline.  I know things happen on trips that cause issues but I can handle them easily.  (Once in Luxembourg my plane got cancelled, they redid the flight and I ended up flying into a completely different airport in England 4+ hours later than I was supposed to originally.)  Family trips require compromise, patience and other things I am just not good at when it comes to other adults.  This family trip was just a great example of the title for my blog.  That life is messy and (thank goodness) I DON’T MOP!

 

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My Parents and Shock

I have the most amazing parents. These two people are funny, adventurous, and enjoy life. In my mind my parents are in their late 50s to mid 60s. Yes, we have celebrated each of their’s 70th birthdays but that hasn’t changed what I see. They truly enjoy being retired. They cruise, play cards, go on road trips and other fun things. They also volunteer at their church and spend time tooling around in a two-seater convertible. Plus they come help us when we need them (major bonus). I just see two people in love having a good time. 

Then it happened and honestly I’m still in shock. We were hanging around Christmas morning. I was heating up the quiche and turned around. I looked and saw my parents sitting in the recliners. I actually had to lean back against the counter because my entire world in that moment had been thrown off its axis. What was I so shocked to realize?  My parents have gotten OLD!  Yes, old!  When did this happen?  I know my kids and grandkids are growing up and getting older but when did my parents?  This is not something I can easily come to terms with nor do I want to. 

Before you ask, yes I told my parents what I realized. As you might expect my timing was not the best. Picture this:  We were in the surgery center of the hospital. My Mom was on a gurney/bed with an IV in one arm and a blood pressure cuff trying to squeeze her other arm so tight it could cut off her circulation. She was all prepped and ready to go back for her foot operation. My Dad was sitting in the chair at the end of the gurney/bed. We are chatting about a variety of topics while we are waiting and I decide to tell them the story of Christmas morning. So at the most ackward time possible I, their loving daughter and only child, told them they are old. Great send off…Good luck in surgery old woman. Thank goodness she did fine and now has a wrapped foot that looks like a “baked potato” according to my husband. (AKA my Mother’s favorite son-in-law…..FYI he’s the only one she has.) Yes, I did rat him out regarding that comment but it didn’t bother her. I guess it’s better than being called old by your daughter. 

I also told the story to my husband. He actually thought there was something wrong with me. I reexplained everything and he still looked at me like I had multiple heads. I told a friend about it and she made a similar face. So I guess it’s me but I still don’t want to accept it.  In my mind my parents are semi-eternal because the alternative is accepting they are older and that the inevitable will happen one day.  

I really relate to the phrase “I like my little world…people know me here.”  So I’m going to just stay as I am in my little world and let everyone else deal in reality (at least when it comes to my parents). They can clean up the messes that happen….because as you know I Don’t Mop. 

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What Is Hot?

I’m not sure if I have told you all before but I have an amazing 13-year-old daughter with Asperger’s, which is one of the forms of autism. One of the funny things that happen is the way we use words but they don’t always mean the same. I know it’s like this with other children but with her sometimes it can lead to a very funny and awkward conversation.
When we go to see a movie she likes to sit between her father and I. A few months ago we went to see Justice League because we all love action movies. At one point they are showing Cyborg and he is upset about what his father has done to him. She turns to me at this point and says “Wow Cyborg is Hot!” This is the first time I have heard her say something like that so I was in a state of shock the rest of the movie because I realized this was something a typical 13-year-old would say. After the movie, we are sitting in the lobby waiting for my husband to get back from the restroom. I ask her how she liked the movie and she said she loved it. So I asked her about her thinking Cyborg was hot. She said “Don’t you think he’s hot?” and I replied, “Nope, I think Aquaman is hot.” She got this strange look on her face and then said: “What are you talking about he’s not hot.” I guess at this point I was the one with the strange look on my face because she said “Didn’t you see the red in the middle of Cyborg’s chest? It was like fire.” It was then that I realized she was talking about hot as in temperature where I was talking about hot as sexy. Finally, my husband gets done and as we are walking to the car she proceeds to tell her father that she thinks Cyborg is hot because of the red flame but I think Aquaman is hot even though he’s not. So my husband looks at me looks at her and looks back at me and starts laughing. Later in the car, I ask her if she knew why I called Aquaman hot and her response was classic “Because you think he has to stay warm underwater?” So I decided to leave it at that.
I’m telling you most people think that having a child with autism is so hard with not a lot of good times but it is these little moments (especially with a 13-year-old) that make everything worthwhile. Not sure if I should be worried that my husband knows I like Jason Momoa but I’m sure it isn’t shocking since I like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Hugh Jackman too. What I am really happy about is the innocence that my daughter still has because this age is rough especially for the parents. Luckily I think this is one I won’t have to clean up because as you know…I don’t mop!

Binge Watching Is Fun!

Binge watching has become one of my favorite habits.  Instead of actually watching the shows when they first come on I end up waiting until the season is over and depending on what people think I will check it out.  I just hate to waste my time watching a show if I am not going to like it and since I have the same taste as a few of my friends their opinion on a show guide me in what to watch.  It’s also nice to have something to do in the evening.

Lately, I have been on a royalty kick.  Not that should shock everyone that knows me but I do have a great love of all things royal.  (That is for another posting)  The Crown was amazing which led me to Victoria then to The White Queen then its sequel The White Princess.  Now I am almost finished with Reign.  While I know they are not all historically accurate but they are so much fun.  Intrigue, romance, swords, and backstabbing.  It’s like a romance novel that I can watch and not read.  What is not to like?

My husband loves to binge watch shows after they have stopped so he knows that it will have a real ending and not just be canceled with no type of ending.  Breaking Bad is his current one and I have to say I don’t like it.  It’s just not something I like.  So how do I handle it?  I sit on the couch glancing at it occasionally while either reading or playing on my iPad.  I try to pretend to like it but wow it is just too much.  I think because it is more “real” than the other stuff I watch so it just upsets me more.  The acting is good, but the storyline and scenes just freak me out.

Now it is almost time for the fall TV season to start and while I do watch some shows when they are on most of the time I spend my weekend mornings catching up through the on-demand.  I used to be so much better because I could fast-forward through the commercials but as usual, the networks decided to take that one perk from me.  Why is it that we pay to watch these shows via our cable bill and yet I can’t watch them without having to watch a bunch of commercials that are just irritating or are peddling something nobody wants or needs?  Plus sometimes the products are embarrassing which is so wonderful when you are sitting on the couch with your family.

(A recent example was the one for vaginal itching.  I think everyone in the room was uncomfortable.  Plus the questions from my daughter that came after were even worse.  Why do they do this to me?  I’m just a woman trying to deal with everything happening in my life so the last thing I want to talk or hear about is someone’s privates itching them.) Ughh!!

So what is everyone’s favorite show?  Anything I should binge watch?  I do love recommendations, especially from strangers because who knows I might find others that have my same love of royalty, comedy or sci-fi.  Plus if I am watching TV that means that I am not mopping!

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Blue Packages Make My Day

Hi!  My name is Karen and I am addicted to Zulily.

I am not ashamed to say it or of my need to shop every day at this site.  I might not always buy something but visiting this site is a very important part of my morning routine.  Sometime between 9:00 – 10:00 am every day (yes weekends too) I go and look at all the new amazing things it offers.   I look for items for myself, my family and the house.  It is truly amazing what you can find on the site and that is why it lures me like a siren to the death of my credit card.

You might be wondering if Zulily is paying me for this blog post and the answer is…NO!!  My husband (Odin) says that they should give me stock after all the money I have spent over the years.  I like to look at it like most people do when it comes to shopping…it is therapy.  Therefore I am investing in my mental health.  I feel that it is only fitting that I am paying them because I get so much out of it…happiness and therapy.  I did do one thing to appease him…I deleted the app off my iPad and iPhone.  Now I just go to the website on my devices which works just as well so another compromise that doesn’t actually affect me!  Win-Win!!

Side Note:  He says the same thing about Target which is why I am not allowed to go in there without him anymore.  Everyone knows that you go in with a list that should total about $40 and come out with over $100 worth of stuff that you try to justify by saying you just forgot to add it to the list. (At least that is my excuse.) It is the rule of Target.  Oh and if you are one of those people that can get in and out without buying extra stuff then you need to seek professional help because that is just not normal.

 So why do I shop on this site?  The deals are amazing and I always find unique things.  My youngest (Aspie Girl) loves the original Star Trek series and thanks to the site she has nightgowns that look like the uniforms they wore on the show.  I recently ordered this plastic thing that looks like a woman (it supposed to be a Mom).  You fill it with water and then put it in the microwave.  She heats up and steam comes out of her head that cleans the microwave.  Funny huh?  I thought so.  On top of the unique things, I have also bought some amazing clothes and baby gear which I justified is needed because when you have granddaughters you need to be prepared.  Overall it is an amazingly addicting site.

Another Side Note:  Here is an example of why Odin doesn’t appreciate my addiction.  One of my purchases from a few years ago were solar powered fans for my family’s cars.  They sit in a cracked open window and circulate the air in the car which is great during the summer because it keeps the car cool.  (Safety Disclaimer – this is for when it is parked…not when it is being driven.  That might make it come loose, hit another car and cause a massive accident which knowing my luck would happen on the Highway of Hell causing me to sit in even more traffic.)  I bought 3 and guess where they are now?  They are in the boxes on a shelf in the storage room.  Now before you get all “wow she like to waste money” (like Odin does) let me say that I always plan to give them to the family but I usually remember them in the winter which won’t make them very useful.  So I rationalize that if I give it to them when they won’t get used they will likely be lost by summer.  Therefore it is better that I keep them so that I can give them out when it warms up and then I promptly forget about it again until the following winter and so the cycle starts again.  I promise that I always have the best of intentions…it is the ability to remember things that are the issue.

Here is the best and worst part for me.  When the items arrive they are usually in a bright blue vinyl bag that stands out from the rest of the mail.  Just seeing that bag fills me with great joy but then that can change quickly if it is Odin that has gotten the mail that day.  If he sees it then I must endure the eye roll, dramatic sigh and the lecture about wasting money.  Now here are the 2 things about his reaction that I get so upset about.  First, it isn’t a waste of money because every household needs Christmas throw pillows even if it is July because they are still functional as back support and it’s not like anyone sees them when I am sitting against them so it’s is still fulfilling its purpose thus making it worth the money.  Another example…EarSeeds to help me lose weight.  They are little seeds that have a sticky paper on them.  I am supposed to put them on a pressure point on my ear and it will curb my appetite.  It’s like visiting the acupressure doctor without having to pay the insurance co-pay every time so as you can tell that saves us money. (OK…so I have only used them twice in the 4 months I have had them but that isn’t the point…I saved money!!)

The second thing I get upset about is that he seems so shocked by the packages when they arrive but since he pays the credit card bill he has to see the charges hit.  It’s not like the company thinks “Wow let’s give her the stuff and then charge her months later.”  No.  They bill me and then ship it…that is how the system works!  So why does he get all upset about something he is forewarned will happen?  Seriously!  Why ruin my happy moment for something you already know about? It’s like he wants to take away my happiness or he just really hates those bags because of the color.  I’m hoping it is the second but I really believe it is the first.

So here is my dilemma?  Do I stop my addiction or continue to feed it?  Since I was just on the site this morning you can guess what the answer is because let’s be real…shopping is one of the best therapies in the world plus you never know what you might find.  (Look…..a paracord survival safety watch….that might come in handy the next time I need a paracord for…..who am I kidding I will probably never need a paracord but it might still be a good idea to be prepared. Buy!)

 

Karen

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My Hubby Gives Me Earworms

Yes, you read that correctly.  My husband (aka Odin) gives me earworms and the worst part is that he gets great joy out of doing it.  Now before you start to get grossed out or assume we have hygiene problems let me explain.  Earworms are songs, jingles, or basically anything that is melodic that you can’t keep from singing or humming.  Since your ear is the entry point for hearing things that is how they get in and then the next thing you know they are stuck in your brain like little worms so I call them earworms.  The earworms are very hard to remove!  You will get to the point where it feels like it has been stuck in your brain forever and make you seriously consider major surgery (possibly a lobotomy) to get it out.  Sometimes the only way to get a particularly annoying one out of your head is by replacing it with a new one but then you are taking a big risk that the new one isn’t as bad as the original.  It never actually works that way, but it is either that or a power drill.  I leave the choice up to you.

I recently read (no I don’t remember where so don’t ask) that women, musicians, people who are neurotic and/or stressed are more susceptible than others (aka the normal people). I told Odin this and he said didn’t shock him that it was so easy to get them in my head since I am a woman who is neurotic and constantly stressed.  I explained that I wasn’t a musician so that should lessen my chances and he told me that he agreed based on my attempts to sing when I am in the shower.

Side Note:  Now that I am writing this I feel like he was saying my singing is bad.  That isn’t possible because everyone knows that no one sounds bad when they sing in the shower. (This is a rule of life that you need to remember so you can pass it on to future generations)  My advice for you:  If someone walks in on you showering, hears you singing and tells you that you were bad you need to do 2 things.  1) Tell them it is not your voice that is bad but the acoustics in the room.  2) Scream “GET OUT” as loud as you can over and over until the person leaves.  I tell you to do this because someone just walked in on you showering which is strange, especially if you don’t know the person, plus you don’t need that kind of negativity (or a stalker) in your life so why not come off as crazy which will hopefully keep it from happening again.  This advice could save your life or the person who walked in on you if it is your significant other or child.  No need to thank me.  I’m just doing my part to help humanity!

Odin LOVES to put earworms in my head and even better if it is in the morning when I am in the shower so that I cannot escape his cruelty.  He finds nothing funnier than one getting stuck in the morning and then me blurting it out over dinner that night.  (In my opinion, it is a very demented thing to do to the mother of his children but he still does it.)  His favorite types of earworms are commercial jingles.  There are quite a few he loves to do over and over but the top ones are the Chili’s song for their ribs and Red Robin’s silly responsive jingle to their name.  The worst one for me and the one that gives him the most pleasure is from the McDonald’s commercial that was out a few years ago where the talking fish sings a song about its need for their awful fish sandwich.

Secret Side Note:  I do have to share with you a secret about how the earworms really do help me.  Yes, they really do get stuck in my head and annoy me but I use these earworms as my reason for not remembering things Odin tells me or asks me to do.  I explain to him that I cannot be expected to remember to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer when these random songs/jingles pop into my head and distract me.  Truthfully I can remember but I choose not to because he should have to deal with some frustration after putting me through “torture by earworms” for his pleasure.

As if it weren’t enough that Odin does this to me almost anything I encounter throughout my day can become one. Here is a recent example of how extreme my susceptibility to earworms really is:  I was reading the caption for a picture my son-in-law (The Mechanic) posted of my granddaughter (Song Bird).  It was the first line of a song because she had her hand up like they do in the Beyoncé video.**  Then every time I was reading or being quiet I would sing that line until I realized what I was doing and get frustrated with myself.  I became really frustrated because this time I didn’t even hear the song.  It was just a written lyric I read on Facebook.  This doesn’t seem fair.

It is possible that my earworms are always in there and never actually leave.  Then they have their fellow earworms stalk me trying to find a way in so that there are more and more.  The reason for this is that they then treat my brain like a tag-team match just tagging different ones in at random.  This is to prove which ones can frustrate me the most and be named Tag-Team Grand Champions of all the other earworms. Wow!  This explains so much about my attention span!  How can I focus on a wrestling match going on all the time?  Major breakthrough achieved without having to go to therapy!!  Score 1 for me!

Another Side Note:  Maybe I do need to go to therapy if this is where my thoughts are leading me.  Who knows I might get lots of rest and some good drugs if I keep thinking this way.  Hold on..this might not be a good idea.  That might allow the earworms to take control and my brain could be plunged into some type of wresting death-match.  My luck would be that the one that survives will probably be the fish song from McDonald’s.  Best not to risk it!

So after writing this, I have figured out that what I really need is something that will keep them out like a shield over my ears or an even better idea would be tape for Odin’s mouth since he is always able to get them in my head and it might prevent him doing it going forward.  The second option sounds the best but then how will I be able to get out of moving the laundry?  I guess the worms will have to stay because there is nothing I hate worse than laundry….OK maybe mopping!

 

** Not sure the rules on using copyrighted stuff in a blog so I am hoping you know what song I am referring to for the picture.  I am too terrified to put the actual song or lyrics because the last thing I can afford is lawyers to defend my blog if she decided to sue me.  Please, amazing, talented, smart and beautiful Beyoncé don’t sue me!  Please!!