Author: Karen G

Take a look at my introduction post and you will know so much about me!

What Is Happening To My Brain?

First, let me say that I am sorry for being gone for so long.  As I am going to explain something big happened and it changed everything for me.

A while ago I started having issues remembering things especially short term but even some long term.  This was more than just walking into a room and forgetting why I came into the room.  This was forgetting that just a few minutes ago I had taken my meds and then tried to take them again.  Not being able to complete a sentence because I just lost my train of thought and then when I do remember not remembering what words to use. That was a big issue when I was at work because there is nothing like being in the middle of the conversation with your boss and team and then suddenly losing your place and not being able to continue at all.  It is mortifying and scary.

So after a bunch of scans, tests and other great things it turns out I have been having invisible strokes.  That means that at the age of 45 I have been officially diagnosed with vascular dementia.  Seriously…at 45!  Now at first I was happy to finally know what was wrong and having a name for it.  Then it hit me that this is life changing and I broke down.  Now I have decided to try and see the bright side of this.  So I made a list:

  1. I have a good excuse when I yell my daughter’s names and keep calling the wrong one.
  2. When I start to go upstairs and my husband asks me to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer but by the time I get up there I end up walking into my bedroom and reading instead. Sometime later he will come in and ask about the laundry and I guess my face shows that I have no idea what he is talking about.  He is nice about it but I can see the frustration.
  3. When I have to tell someone about another person but I can’t remember who it is we play Guess Who until we figure it out. Example:  You know..that tall lady….brown hair…works on the 9th floor…etc.
  4. My husband can now track me on my GPS when I get lost. Yes, I do get lost but usually, it is in the car and thank goodness I have the Waze app.
  5. When we watch a movie for the 2nd or 3rd times I still get surprised by things and even the ending (sometimes). I can remember the plot and the characters but not much of the actual movie. Thinking about it I might make a good movie critic for the studios to use because I would think it was great even if I couldn’t remember it.  (Yes I am available for the job if Disney, Universal, etc want to hire me)
  6. You see people you cannot remember ever meeting but they know you so it is like starting new relationships. I had this happen with someone I work with but I only see every few months in-person so when they come in I am so excited to meet them again.

As you can imagine every day is something new and an adjustment to my life.  I’m determined to get back on here and blog about all the funny things that happen which hopefully are even funnier with the dementia aspect added in.  So..keep up with me please, share my pages and my posts.  Looks like my messy life is about to get even messier and before you even ask that does not mean I will mop!

Buddy the Wonder Dog

Not sure if I have mentioned it in a previous post or not, but we have a family dog named Buddy.  A few weeks ago we realized, thanks to Facebook, that we have had him for 5 years.  That should make him about 10 years old (or 53 in people years according to the calculator I found online.)  He is slowing down but still so amazing and he truly loves his people.

Side Note:  I’m starting to realize that my life is so much better now that we have the World Wide Web.  How else would I find a calculator to convert dog years to human years?  I find such interesting things that have calculators online.  For all you cat people there is one that can convert their age to people years.  (If Buddy was a cat he would be 56 in people years which is older than the conversion of a dog so he should be happy he is a dog!)  There is a Death Date Calculator (yes that is morbid but good to know), Telephone Number Numerology Calculator (no idea what that means) and a Steak Calculator (because who really wants to eat a raw or overcooked steak?).

Buddy is a Jack Russell Terrier mixed with something else.  Now if you know anything about Jack Russell’s then you know that they are very hyper.  Lucky for us whatever else he is mixed with is related to a sloth or maybe a snail. So here is how he typically behaves when I get home in the evening.  He barks as soon as he sees me, then once I walk in the door he is jumping up to greet me.  In order to understand what this looks like you need to pull up a video of a salmon swimming upstream.  He jumps and wiggles his bottom just like the fish do.  Now comes the best part.  As soon as I sit down he is right next to me and asleep in minutes.  Now you might be thinking this is due to his age, but this is how he has always been.  It takes a lot of energy to jump and shake his butt so he needs to rest after.  He also needs a rest after he has come in from going potty, eaten his food, etc.  His life is basically down to activity, sleep, activity, sleep.  It is a very hard life he leads.

So at this point, I should explain why I call him a Wonder Dog.  It is because for the entire time we have had him we have all been making up songs for him.  My favorite and the one I sing the most is “Buddy the Wonder Dog.  It’s no wonder he’s a dog.  Because he doesn’t look like a frog.  He’s Buddy the Wonder Dog!”  He has never done anything heroic like a police or service dog, but the fact that he hasn’t run away yet and instead stays with us make him a wonder dog to me.  My youngest (Aspie Girl) is the voice of Buddy.  He has a deep voice that has a good amount of sarcasm laced in it.  She loves to say “Hi my name is Bud!  Do you have pepperoni?”  If I reply with “No” she says “I know it’s in the refrigerator.  You can’t fib to me.”  So I end up getting him pepperoni and she gets some too.  I know they are both scamming me, but it is so cute I can’t help but give in.  My husband (Odin) says that once Buddy passes over the Rainbow Bridge we are not getting another dog unless it is a service dog for Aspie Girl.  Neither of us wants anything to happen to Buddy because he is a member of our family.  I truly think Odin says that because he will be very upset when it does inevitably happen and can’t imagine any dog being able to fill Buddy’s paws. (Neither can I)

Another Side Note:  In regards to the Autism service dog (no a comfort animal will not work..I wish) for Aspie Girl.  My hope is that I can get her service dog soon but I need to raise $15K-$20K in order to get her one.  She desperately needs one but I really have no idea how to raise that amount of money.  Her anxiety is so bad that she actually pulled apart a pair of leggings in school this week because she was nervous about gym class.  She has also eaten up to an inch (yes 1”) off her hair and can’t go to stores because it overwhelms her so much.  Her iPad and headphones are the only reason we can get her out of the house.  This is the first year that she isn’t in any main-stream classes because her anxiety is so high.  She also needs one because she wanders off which is why we hold hands everywhere.  The issue is that at her age she thinks it isn’t cool to hold my hand which causes a safety risk.  If you have any ideas of how to get her one please let me know. 

Buddy has a new job in the family.  He is the protector of my granddaughter (Itty Bitty).  When she is with her Mom (BiP) on the couch he sits between them and the front door.  He doesn’t bark at people passing by like he normally does.  Just gives a slight growl so he doesn’t frighten her which will make her cry.  Also, every morning he has to smell her and lick her head.  It is just so cute how well they get along since she is only 3 weeks old.  Buddy is defiantly in love with his family and we love him just as much.  He gets puppy ice cream, lots of belly rubs and has a big basket filled with toys.  I cannot imagine our lives without him and I hope it is a very long time before that happens.

Thanks for reading and please pass this on if you enjoyed it!

Karen G.

Physical Torture + Mental Therapy = Physical Therapy

Over the last few months, I have been going to Physical Therapy (PT) for my neck.  Turns out there is a nerve in your neck that runs up to the side of your head and when it gets pinched you receive a sharp pain.  All of a sudden out of nowhere I will get this feeling of someone or something, because it could be an alien or superbug, trying to push a phillips-head screwdriver out the side of my skull.  I have actually been in tears over this because it really sucks!! So my wonderful neurologist decided that PT would be able to fix my problem.

I started seeing this amazing therapist (Mrs. SouthernLiving aka Mrs. SL) and, good for me but bad for her, she suffers from the same exact thing so I knew she would be able to fix me up.  Little did I know that Mrs. SL was going to be able to do so much more for me than fix my neck!  She has become my friend.  When I have an appointment I get so excited and it is not because she beats on me, no I am not a masochist …really…I’m not, but because I get to hang out with adults and talk about new and interesting things.  This has become the mental therapy that I need to survive the week. When we skip a week I feel all out of sorts and don’t know what to do with myself.

Side Note:  I am calling her Mrs. SL because she has this cool southern accent and when she tries to be mean it doesn’t work because of the accent.  I bet she would make a fortune out of recording the audio tracks for romance novels based in the south with that accent. If she does decide to do that then I think I should get a cut for coming up with the idea. Just 20% of what she makes for each recording to cover my idea fee is enough.  OK…I will be generous…19.99% 

Let me say that my PT sessions are hard work and every time she beats on me she says “Love You…Mean It”.  (Wait…maybe she’s a sadist…nah she is too nice for that plus with that accent no one would believe it if I said she was.)  She has also added a new clothing line (Matilda Jane) to my shopping addiction.  Yes before you ask it is on Zulily but not often and the selection isn’t great.  Now she is tempting me with her rave reviews of Hello Fresh.  I did get her into Zulily so I look at it as a trade-off.  We are both bad influences on each other but yet we have such amazing things.  In addition, we have the other patient that is there with us during my time.  Let’s call him Mr. PressureCooker aka Mr. PC since he is the one that introduced me to that amazing gadget.  He is so funny and gives great cooking ideas.  On top of that, he has some great stories about being in the military which leads to other interesting topics.  (Yes they include drinking but don’t judge us.  Everyone should have interesting stories from their 20s involving alcohol.  If you don’t then sorry for you but maybe you can make up for it in your 40s or 50s.) Honestly, the only thing that could make our sessions better is if we drank wine or margaritas.  (Yes again with the alcohol but again don’t judge it because you know you want one too.) Then who knows what would come out of our mouths.

Another Side Note:  I would like to thank the owner of my PT office for not separating us or recording the things we talk about.  It’s nothing bad, but it is funny.  Plus that would be an invasion of my privacy which I would not take well.  It’s OK for me to talk about everyone else but it is not OK to do it to me.  I know that sounds very one-sided but that is the way it is.  Now please don’t kick me out of the practice!  I promise I will behave or will try to the best of my ability.

The hubby (Odin) doesn’t think I should go anymore because it costs so much money above the co-pay, but I think it is the best type of therapy in the world.  Not only has the frequency of my headaches gone down but so has my level of irritation towards our family.  This is my only time outside of work to talk to grown-ups that I am not related to.  Yes, it may lead me to buy things that I hadn’t thought I needed until I hear it about it and then had to have it.  Yes, it may make me crave Greek or Thai food or a certain wine.  My therapy is completely necessary for me to be in a happy state for at least one night a week.  No homework, kids, spouse, grandchildren, work, etc.  Just me and two people that make me smile and forget about all the other crap.  I think it is worth it and as long as my neck hurts I will be there every Wednesday. (I would say that I would continue going once it is healed but I can’t because my insurance company might see this and get mad.  Trust me insurance guys…it really does hurt.)

Yet Another Side Note:  I hope my therapist and co-patient are OK that I wrote this.  If not then be happy that I at least changed your names and next time I come in I will bring cookies!!  I also need to mention that there is an amazing receptionist at PT.  She is always so friendly when I walk in and tells me that she misses me when I am not there.  (Obviously I have her fooled but let’s not tell her because I want to keep this good thing going.)  She gets the benefit of listening to all this and I think she deserves an award for not running out the door because she thinks we are all crazy.

Thanks for reading!!  Please feel free to share this!

Karen G.

Blue Packages Make My Day

Hi!  My name is Karen and I am addicted to Zulily.

I am not ashamed to say it or of my need to shop every day at this site.  I might not always buy something but visiting this site is a very important part of my morning routine.  Sometime between 9:00 – 10:00 am every day (yes weekends too) I go and look at all the new amazing things it offers.   I look for items for myself, my family and the house.  It is truly amazing what you can find on the site and that is why it lures me like a siren to the death of my credit card.

You might be wondering if Zulily is paying me for this blog post and the answer is…NO!!  My husband (Odin) says that they should give me stock after all the money I have spent over the years.  I like to look at it like most people do when it comes to shopping…it is therapy.  Therefore I am investing in my mental health.  I feel that it is only fitting that I am paying them because I get so much out of it…happiness and therapy.  I did do one thing to appease him…I deleted the app off my iPad and iPhone.  Now I just go to the website on my devices which works just as well so another compromise that doesn’t actually affect me!  Win-Win!!

Side Note:  He says the same thing about Target which is why I am not allowed to go in there without him anymore.  Everyone knows that you go in with a list that should total about $40 and come out with over $100 worth of stuff that you try to justify by saying you just forgot to add it to the list. (At least that is my excuse.) It is the rule of Target.  Oh and if you are one of those people that can get in and out without buying extra stuff then you need to seek professional help because that is just not normal.

 So why do I shop on this site?  The deals are amazing and I always find unique things.  My youngest (Aspie Girl) loves the original Star Trek series and thanks to the site she has nightgowns that look like the uniforms they wore on the show.  I recently ordered this plastic thing that looks like a woman (it supposed to be a Mom).  You fill it with water and then put it in the microwave.  She heats up and steam comes out of her head that cleans the microwave.  Funny huh?  I thought so.  On top of the unique things, I have also bought some amazing clothes and baby gear which I justified is needed because when you have granddaughters you need to be prepared.  Overall it is an amazingly addicting site.

Another Side Note:  Here is an example of why Odin doesn’t appreciate my addiction.  One of my purchases from a few years ago were solar powered fans for my family’s cars.  They sit in a cracked open window and circulate the air in the car which is great during the summer because it keeps the car cool.  (Safety Disclaimer – this is for when it is parked…not when it is being driven.  That might make it come loose, hit another car and cause a massive accident which knowing my luck would happen on the Highway of Hell causing me to sit in even more traffic.)  I bought 3 and guess where they are now?  They are in the boxes on a shelf in the storage room.  Now before you get all “wow she like to waste money” (like Odin does) let me say that I always plan to give them to the family but I usually remember them in the winter which won’t make them very useful.  So I rationalize that if I give it to them when they won’t get used they will likely be lost by summer.  Therefore it is better that I keep them so that I can give them out when it warms up and then I promptly forget about it again until the following winter and so the cycle starts again.  I promise that I always have the best of intentions…it is the ability to remember things that are the issue.

Here is the best and worst part for me.  When the items arrive they are usually in a bright blue vinyl bag that stands out from the rest of the mail.  Just seeing that bag fills me with great joy but then that can change quickly if it is Odin that has gotten the mail that day.  If he sees it then I must endure the eye roll, dramatic sigh and the lecture about wasting money.  Now here are the 2 things about his reaction that I get so upset about.  First, it isn’t a waste of money because every household needs Christmas throw pillows even if it is July because they are still functional as back support and it’s not like anyone sees them when I am sitting against them so it’s is still fulfilling its purpose thus making it worth the money.  Another example…EarSeeds to help me lose weight.  They are little seeds that have a sticky paper on them.  I am supposed to put them on a pressure point on my ear and it will curb my appetite.  It’s like visiting the acupressure doctor without having to pay the insurance co-pay every time so as you can tell that saves us money. (OK…so I have only used them twice in the 4 months I have had them but that isn’t the point…I saved money!!)

The second thing I get upset about is that he seems so shocked by the packages when they arrive but since he pays the credit card bill he has to see the charges hit.  It’s not like the company thinks “Wow let’s give her the stuff and then charge her months later.”  No.  They bill me and then ship it…that is how the system works!  So why does he get all upset about something he is forewarned will happen?  Seriously!  Why ruin my happy moment for something you already know about? It’s like he wants to take away my happiness or he just really hates those bags because of the color.  I’m hoping it is the second but I really believe it is the first.

So here is my dilemma?  Do I stop my addiction or continue to feed it?  Since I was just on the site this morning you can guess what the answer is because let’s be real…shopping is one of the best therapies in the world plus you never know what you might find.  (Look…..a paracord survival safety watch….that might come in handy the next time I need a paracord for…..who am I kidding I will probably never need a paracord but it might still be a good idea to be prepared. Buy!)

 

Karen

Please don’t forget to share this with others.  (Seriously…I’m begging)

Crazy Commuter Karaoke on the Highway of Hell

As I told you about in a previous post I get to drive on Route 66 which can only be described as the Highway of Hell (HoH).  It is a highway with a lot of stop and go traffic that never seems to end.  I know everyone has their own HoH but my area is in the top 2 of the highest level of traffic for almost every survey in the US.  Living outside of Washington, DC means that not only do you have the normal commuters on the road but the tourists too.  There is no public transportation out where I live and if I decide that I want to use the Metro system I still have to drive on the HoH to get to it so it doesn’t really help at all!

When I look at my fellow commuters there are a couple of things I have started to notice in their expressions.  They are either frustrated that this is happening to them yet again (seriously why are you still shocked) or have become resigned to the fact that this will be their life due to the lack of other alternatives.  It is a look of pure hopelessness!!  So they do things to entertain themselves like putting on make-up, texting on their phones, talking over their Bluetooth or banging on the steering wheel in frustration.  (Yes there are those that also use a lot of obscene gestures but I try to ignore them.)

For me, I take that time to do one of the many things I love to do…Commuter Karaoke!!  It is my way of dealing with the stress of life while entertaining myself and those around me.  You may have seen others sing in their cars but trust me that you haven’t seen anything yet.  It is like a one-person party in my car. I just need the disco ball, lights and adult beverage to complete my vision.

Side Note:  I really wouldn’t mind a nice adult beverage during my commute but the law frowns on that in my state (and most other states too I would guess).  My afternoon commute alone necessitates at least a glass of wine or maybe a couple of tequila shots.  It is truly a nightmare and I don’t even commute as far as a lot of people I know in the area.  Now…before everyone gets all worked up saying I am condoning drinking and driving let me say right now “I AM NOT!!”  I just said it would be nice, but it is illegal so don’t try to blame me for people that are too stupid to know better.  I am barely capable of being responsible for myself and my youngest (the other 2 don’t count because they are over 18) so I don’t need the pressure of being responsible for everyone else too.  Seriously!  Grow up and handle yourself!

When I am doing Commuter Karaoke I add to the excitement by using my satellite radio instead of a playlist.  This way it is a game of chance when I just scan through the channels because I never know what song will come on.  I have channels programmed for the hits from the 1950s to today, country, classic rock, hair bands and even some comedy.  (No…I don’t try to sing to the comedians on the comedy channels but who knows what might come up on it so I keep them programmed).  What always amazes me is how often I know the lyrics to music from the 1950s (thanks to my parents) to today but yet I cannot tell you what I had for dinner last night or what day I met my husband.

Second Side Note:  My husband swears he knows when the first time we met was and also when we had our first date.  How is that possible?  I think he just randomly picked a couple of dates before our wedding date and passes them off as the actual dates.  He comes across looking like he is this amazing romantic husband for remembering while I look horrible forgetful wife for not remembering.   He will never admit this, but I am pretty sure that I am right!

I think this all goes back to my earworm susceptibility which we all know is very high.  Of all the types of music that are out there, I would have to say that 1980s Hair Bands and 1990s Pop are my favorites.  I really get moving when it is an 1980s Power Ballad.  If you were born in the 1970s or 1980s you know exactly what kind of song I am talking about because it always brings back memories.  (Hopefully good ones.)  In order for me to give such a powerful song the justice it deserves I will go full out by playing keyboards on my steering wheel, flipping my hair around with dramatic flair, using expressive voices and doing an epic air guitar solo.  It is truly a work of art and a performance of such amazingness (my new word) you cannot look away.   Seriously!!  Don’t look away!!  Please!!

I do believe that those around me on the HoH are probably thankful for the entertainment I provide every morning and afternoon.  I think that they look at me and think…”Thank God I am not in the car with that woman!” or “Wow I wish she would roll down her windows so we could both have that much fun and our own party!”  I like to think that it is the second but I am betting it is the first. In this wonderful age of technology, I feel that I am brave and selfless for doing this for all to see.  Why you ask?  I’m sure the chances of one of my fellow commuters recording me is pretty high but I don’t care because I do this for the betterment of society.  It’s not like anything else can come of it.

Last Side Note:  Let me stop and think about this for a minute.  Maybe if one of my fellow commuters puts up a recording on social media I might become an internet sensation.  I can see it all now!  That recording could lead to a book deal, talk show appearances and superstardom!  Wait…there is one thing that could ruin it all….it is if they actually want to hear me sing.  That will cause the whole entertainment cycle to come to a screeching halt…unless I can do it in the shower because we all know no one sounds bad in the shower!  Ugghh!  Let’s be real about this…having to do my Crazy Karaoke in the shower would be embarrassing for a whole different reason so that won’t work either.

So the next time you are on your own HoH (or even just waiting to pick-up the kids), turn up the radio and sing along.  That way I won’t be the only one on the road looking like the crazy person.  Also, if you happen to see me on the HoH and want to join in just let me know so we can have the windows down crazy commuter party I have always dreamed of.

 

To my readers:  Thank you so much for reading this, please share it, and ROCK ON!!

My Hubby Gives Me Earworms

Yes, you read that correctly.  My husband (aka Odin) gives me earworms and the worst part is that he gets great joy out of doing it.  Now before you start to get grossed out or assume we have hygiene problems let me explain.  Earworms are songs, jingles, or basically anything that is melodic that you can’t keep from singing or humming.  Since your ear is the entry point for hearing things that is how they get in and then the next thing you know they are stuck in your brain like little worms so I call them earworms.  The earworms are very hard to remove!  You will get to the point where it feels like it has been stuck in your brain forever and make you seriously consider major surgery (possibly a lobotomy) to get it out.  Sometimes the only way to get a particularly annoying one out of your head is by replacing it with a new one but then you are taking a big risk that the new one isn’t as bad as the original.  It never actually works that way, but it is either that or a power drill.  I leave the choice up to you.

I recently read (no I don’t remember where so don’t ask) that women, musicians, people who are neurotic and/or stressed are more susceptible than others (aka the normal people). I told Odin this and he said didn’t shock him that it was so easy to get them in my head since I am a woman who is neurotic and constantly stressed.  I explained that I wasn’t a musician so that should lessen my chances and he told me that he agreed based on my attempts to sing when I am in the shower.

Side Note:  Now that I am writing this I feel like he was saying my singing is bad.  That isn’t possible because everyone knows that no one sounds bad when they sing in the shower. (This is a rule of life that you need to remember so you can pass it on to future generations)  My advice for you:  If someone walks in on you showering, hears you singing and tells you that you were bad you need to do 2 things.  1) Tell them it is not your voice that is bad but the acoustics in the room.  2) Scream “GET OUT” as loud as you can over and over until the person leaves.  I tell you to do this because someone just walked in on you showering which is strange, especially if you don’t know the person, plus you don’t need that kind of negativity (or a stalker) in your life so why not come off as crazy which will hopefully keep it from happening again.  This advice could save your life or the person who walked in on you if it is your significant other or child.  No need to thank me.  I’m just doing my part to help humanity!

Odin LOVES to put earworms in my head and even better if it is in the morning when I am in the shower so that I cannot escape his cruelty.  He finds nothing funnier than one getting stuck in the morning and then me blurting it out over dinner that night.  (In my opinion, it is a very demented thing to do to the mother of his children but he still does it.)  His favorite types of earworms are commercial jingles.  There are quite a few he loves to do over and over but the top ones are the Chili’s song for their ribs and Red Robin’s silly responsive jingle to their name.  The worst one for me and the one that gives him the most pleasure is from the McDonald’s commercial that was out a few years ago where the talking fish sings a song about its need for their awful fish sandwich.

Secret Side Note:  I do have to share with you a secret about how the earworms really do help me.  Yes, they really do get stuck in my head and annoy me but I use these earworms as my reason for not remembering things Odin tells me or asks me to do.  I explain to him that I cannot be expected to remember to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer when these random songs/jingles pop into my head and distract me.  Truthfully I can remember but I choose not to because he should have to deal with some frustration after putting me through “torture by earworms” for his pleasure.

As if it weren’t enough that Odin does this to me almost anything I encounter throughout my day can become one. Here is a recent example of how extreme my susceptibility to earworms really is:  I was reading the caption for a picture my son-in-law (The Mechanic) posted of my granddaughter (Song Bird).  It was the first line of a song because she had her hand up like they do in the Beyoncé video.**  Then every time I was reading or being quiet I would sing that line until I realized what I was doing and get frustrated with myself.  I became really frustrated because this time I didn’t even hear the song.  It was just a written lyric I read on Facebook.  This doesn’t seem fair.

It is possible that my earworms are always in there and never actually leave.  Then they have their fellow earworms stalk me trying to find a way in so that there are more and more.  The reason for this is that they then treat my brain like a tag-team match just tagging different ones in at random.  This is to prove which ones can frustrate me the most and be named Tag-Team Grand Champions of all the other earworms. Wow!  This explains so much about my attention span!  How can I focus on a wrestling match going on all the time?  Major breakthrough achieved without having to go to therapy!!  Score 1 for me!

Another Side Note:  Maybe I do need to go to therapy if this is where my thoughts are leading me.  Who knows I might get lots of rest and some good drugs if I keep thinking this way.  Hold on..this might not be a good idea.  That might allow the earworms to take control and my brain could be plunged into some type of wresting death-match.  My luck would be that the one that survives will probably be the fish song from McDonald’s.  Best not to risk it!

So after writing this, I have figured out that what I really need is something that will keep them out like a shield over my ears or an even better idea would be tape for Odin’s mouth since he is always able to get them in my head and it might prevent him doing it going forward.  The second option sounds the best but then how will I be able to get out of moving the laundry?  I guess the worms will have to stay because there is nothing I hate worse than laundry….OK maybe mopping!

 

** Not sure the rules on using copyrighted stuff in a blog so I am hoping you know what song I am referring to for the picture.  I am too terrified to put the actual song or lyrics because the last thing I can afford is lawyers to defend my blog if she decided to sue me.  Please, amazing, talented, smart and beautiful Beyoncé don’t sue me!  Please!!

Pediatrician Visit Times Two – The Jinx

My middle daughter (BiP) had a baby a few days ago and since she lives at home and can’t drive (thanks C-section) I was given the honor of going with them to my granddaughters (Itty Bitty) first doctor’s appointment.  One cool thing about this was that same doctor my children go will also be my granddaughter’s doctor.  So that makes it a generational thing now.

Side Note:  It is weird to me that my youngest daughter (Aspie Girl) and Itty Bitty are close enough in age to see the same doctor.  The doctor isn’t old and neither am I (no…40’s are not old) and they are only 11 years apart, but it still seems strange.

Of course, we end up talking about the rest of the family and especially the youngest (Aspie Girl).  She asks how the transition to middle school is going and we talk about the changes we have made this year.  Then when everything is done I tell her I will see her at Aspie Girl’s 12-year check-up in November and she just smiles.  Little did I know that when I said it I was jinxing myself…keep reading….please!

After dropping off BiP & Itty Bitty at home I commute on the road most people call Route 66 to my office.  (I often refer affectionately to this horrible bane of my existence as the “Highway of Hell”.)  I get to my desk and realize that yet again I have left my laptop at home.  Now, most people would be thinking that instead of going all the way back home just get a loaner laptop.  Let me tell you right now that trying to get a loner laptop might be an option for some but at my office that is the equivalent of obtaining the Holy Grail, but hopefully, it will not melt people’s faces.  Also, since I don’t bother to save my information to the network everything I need is on the laptop.

Another Side Note:  In my mind, it is riskier to save my stuff on the network then it is saving it on my laptop.  I know all the cyber people and computer experts will tell me that isn’t true, but let me explain my rationale.  In my mind, if something is going to get hacked and taken down it will be the server and not my laptop.  Who cares what is on my laptop when there is so much on the server that is much juicer.  I do have an External Hard Drive (EHD) but since my laptop is locked down I cannot set it up to automatically back things up. Also asking me to do it is just ridiculous because it wouldn’t have the ability to do it automatically if it wasn’t supposed to be done that way.  So that makes it ITs fault that I don’t have a backup.  Plus isn’t it easier for someone to pick-up my EHD vs my laptop?  It might be a few days before I notice my EHD but I would notice my laptop missing immediately….right?

So I do what I have to…..I schlep back to the car and start the drive back down the Highway of Hell to the house.  I get 10 minutes down the road and then comes the call every parent hates….the school nurse saying that Aspie Girl isn’t feeling well and needs to go to the doctor.  So after a Bluetooth enabled the crackly call to the doctor’s office that had me repeating myself and ready to pitch my phone out the window I got her an appointment that would be in only 30 minutes.

I rush to the school, sign her out and rush her out to the car.  Now Aspie Girl doesn’t like to be rushed and when you do she moves at the speed of a sloth so you can guess how that went.  We pull up at our exact appointment time and then I have to get her to go inside (sloths at this point would move faster).  The doctor comes into the room and just laughs because here I am back in less than 1 ½ hours after telling her that I would not be back until November. I explain to her that if I hadn’t forgotten my laptop (as usual) she would be seeing my Hubby (Odin) so this doesn’t count.  Again she laughs.  Then she tells Aspie Girl she needs to give a urine sample which of course means explaining the directions in detail more than once, 3 trips to the bathroom, countless glasses of water and guess what….she doesn’t have to pee.  I, on the other hand, have the bladder of an elderly person and have gone multiple times.  At this point I am done and ready to get to work so they give me the stuff to get the sample at home. (Gross!)  The doctor just smiles and says she will see me soon and probably before November…I just smirk and tell her that the next visit is for her since she just jinxed me!

Guess what happens as soon as I get her home…she has to pee and the stuff I need is in the car.  Really?????  Then when I am finally back on the Highway of Hell headed to the office I realize that not only do I jinx myself often but now I have other people doing it for me. Great!

Karen

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So Here We Are! Welcome!

At the age of 44 (45 is only a couple of months away) I have decided that I am almost halfway through my life.  I think 90 will be a good time to kick-the-bucket because hopefully, I will get to see a lot more stuff and by then I shouldn’t care that no one listens to me.  I will just be terrorizing my daughters and telling my grandchildren the stories of my life.  (Knowing my memory they will be mostly made up but they will be exciting.)  This page is for me to share what it is like to be me and how the people in my life are impacted.

Little background.  I have lived in Northern Virginia (near DC) my entire life.  Seriously!  All I do is move further and further away from the craziness that is the city.  At some point I am going to end up in West Virginia but not if my husband has anything to say about it.  (To my WV people:  I love visiting but you don’t want me there any more than I want to be.)  My Hubby (Odin) is my second husband.  They say you marry your first for love (in my case for pregnancy) and the second for money (OK that, but really love). He is amazing and puts up with me which says a lot about him and his inner strength since I am always right even when I am wrong.

My children are a blessing and a royal pain in the butt.  We have 3 daughters with a classic yours, mine and ours but thankfully not as many children as they had in the movie starring Lucille Ball.  The oldest (The Therapist) is so bright and caring but is a lot like her father so that says enough.  She is married to a great guy (The Mechanic) and they gave us our first granddaughter (Song Bird) in May.  Then there is the middle one (BiP) who is funny and creative but is a lot like me which is why you will hear a lot about us butting heads (not physically, but emotionally).  She just had a baby girl (Itty Bitty) a few days ago.  Last is Aspie Girl who is so amazing and of course the youngest.  As you can see from her name she has Asperger’s (a form of Autism) so the world when you are around her is always interesting but yet exhausting.  Odin calls her my “Mini Me” and she is, plus as a bonus, she follows my directions, unlike the others.

In addition, the ones above I have wonderful parents, half-siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws and more.  Then add my co-workers and my classmates from my MBA program.  As you can tell there are plenty of people I will be writing you about.  Good news for you….sounds like a lot of work for me.

So please, please follow me and pass on my page to others.  It will be worth a read!