Month: January 2019

Flying – Solo vs Family Travel

We just returned from a family vacation and I now realize why it is easier to travel alone especially when I am flying.   In my job I fly about once a month and love doing it so I thought flying with my family would be just as great.  Well it wasn’t but it also wasn’t horrible….just messy!

When I fly solo for work it is very smooth because I have a system of how to do things.  The first thing I do is park in the same lot every time because it is the cheaper option thus saving my company money.  Next I head into the airport.  Since I have achieved a certain level on my preferred airline I no longer have to pay to check a bag & have priority check-in.  I use my medium sized hard sided luggage and check it each time I fly.  It’s just nice to have the extra room plus then I only have to carry my backpack through the airport.  So I go to the priority desk, check my bag and then head off to security with my boarding pass loaded in the app on my phone.  Lucky for me I have Global Entry (thanks to the hubby a few years ago) so I always have TSA Pre-Check.  It really does speed up the security line so I love it.  I then make my way through the airport, grab a snack and get to my gate.  In my airport this means taking subway type trains, people movers, really tall escalators and even shuttles depending on which of the gates I am flying out of.  It is like Planes, Trains and Automobiles but without the amazing humor of John Candy.  (Does anyone else miss that comic genius?  He was just so funny.)  While I am waiting I usually people watch or check emails on my phone.  Then it is time to board and again thanks to my status I am in group 2 no matter where I am sitting on the plane.  Then it is just sitting back and working or watching a movie.  Once the plane lands I just take my time getting my bag and then head to my hotel.  It’s just easy and efficient.

That is the opposite of what it is like traveling on vacation with my family.  It’s not even all of us, just me, the hubby and out youngest (Becks aka AutismGirl).  So let’s just start with parking at the airport.  This is a big thing because of the many choices.  Do we park in the economy lot or the daily garage and if it is the garage do we park in 1 or 2?  This is a conversation that my husband has out loud with himself as we are driving.  Just as he decides it will be garage 1 he opens up a new debate because the thinks the best idea is to drop us off at departures, park the car in garage 1 and then join us.  That way we can check-in and check the bags.  I remind him that the free first checked bag only applies to him and I because Becks doesn’t have status.  The debate of where to park starts again and finally it is determined that we are all going to garage 1 and using the underground tunnel to get to the main terminal.

Once arriving in the terminal we go to check-in and find out that both of us have been upgraded to first class.  (It’s a 10:30 pm flight to Florida on a Friday so no one is on it.)  Now we have an issue because Becks cannot fly by herself in Economy Plus.  This starts another debate about what to do.  Should we decline the upgrade, should one of us take the upgrade with her and the other sit in the back or should we pay to move her into first class with us?  At this time I decide to talk to the agent to explain the situation.  I produce the letter that we have from her doctor that confirm her Autism diagnosis and ask what they can do to help.  They make a couple of calls and the next thing we know all 3 of us are in first.  Woo Hoo…way to start a vacation!

Now comes security which is hard for her but it is going to be easier this time because it is after 8:30 pm and no one is at the airport trying to get through.  Plus we have TSA Pre-Check so it will be smooth sailing.  I put my bag on the belt, grab a bin for her iPhone and headphones and now we are ready to go through.  So I go first, then she run through which she ends by jump on me and almost knocking me down.  Hubby gets through too after a debate about his belt buckle and if it will set off the detectors.  So off we go to the gate.  I decided to have Becks guide us to see how she does.  So she looks for the signs and gets us to the place to head out to our gate.  I should mention that this point I am carrying my backpack with my laptop and she is carrying hers with all her stuff.  The hubby has nothing but somehow ends up with a glass case, iPhone, iPad and other items that are also in my bag because he didn’t think he needed to carry a bag. (Seriously!)  We get to the gate and wait.  While I was sitting there I could not people watch or check my emails because I am answering constant questions from the hubby.  Now, he flies often enough to know how things work so this is not nervousness…it is just something that I take as trying to annoy me to death after 9:00 pm.

Time to board so we get in our line.  Becks and I are sitting together and the hubby is a few rows up.  It was so nice and she was great.  She watched a movie on my iPhone and drank juice.  Overall first class was nice.  Then we land and she is really tired but also excited.  It’s after 12:00 am and she needs to crash.  We go pick-up the bags which was easy because no one else seems to be in this airport either.  I then tell my husband that instead of taking the shuttle to the hotel we are just going to take a cab.  That creates another debate about cost, time efficiency, etc.  I am at a breaking point and just want to lay down.  I have worked all day and just want to go to bed.  So I grab Becks and head to the cab stand.  Luckily the hubby joins us so we all get to the hotel.  We check-in and crash!

***Please notice that this one family flight took 4 paragraphs vs 1 for my solo journey.***

Thinking back on all of this I have decided that solo travel is great and the reason is because I am making all the decisions.  There is no other adult I have to work with or watch have an out loud debate with themselves.  It is just me, the airport and my airline.  I know things happen on trips that cause issues but I can handle them easily.  (Once in Luxembourg my plane got cancelled, they redid the flight and I ended up flying into a completely different airport in England 4+ hours later than I was supposed to originally.)  Family trips require compromise, patience and other things I am just not good at when it comes to other adults.  This family trip was just a great example of the title for my blog.  That life is messy and (thank goodness) I DON’T MOP!

 

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My Parents and Shock

I have the most amazing parents. These two people are funny, adventurous, and enjoy life. In my mind my parents are in their late 50s to mid 60s. Yes, we have celebrated each of their’s 70th birthdays but that hasn’t changed what I see. They truly enjoy being retired. They cruise, play cards, go on road trips and other fun things. They also volunteer at their church and spend time tooling around in a two-seater convertible. Plus they come help us when we need them (major bonus). I just see two people in love having a good time. 

Then it happened and honestly I’m still in shock. We were hanging around Christmas morning. I was heating up the quiche and turned around. I looked and saw my parents sitting in the recliners. I actually had to lean back against the counter because my entire world in that moment had been thrown off its axis. What was I so shocked to realize?  My parents have gotten OLD!  Yes, old!  When did this happen?  I know my kids and grandkids are growing up and getting older but when did my parents?  This is not something I can easily come to terms with nor do I want to. 

Before you ask, yes I told my parents what I realized. As you might expect my timing was not the best. Picture this:  We were in the surgery center of the hospital. My Mom was on a gurney/bed with an IV in one arm and a blood pressure cuff trying to squeeze her other arm so tight it could cut off her circulation. She was all prepped and ready to go back for her foot operation. My Dad was sitting in the chair at the end of the gurney/bed. We are chatting about a variety of topics while we are waiting and I decide to tell them the story of Christmas morning. So at the most ackward time possible I, their loving daughter and only child, told them they are old. Great send off…Good luck in surgery old woman. Thank goodness she did fine and now has a wrapped foot that looks like a “baked potato” according to my husband. (AKA my Mother’s favorite son-in-law…..FYI he’s the only one she has.) Yes, I did rat him out regarding that comment but it didn’t bother her. I guess it’s better than being called old by your daughter. 

I also told the story to my husband. He actually thought there was something wrong with me. I reexplained everything and he still looked at me like I had multiple heads. I told a friend about it and she made a similar face. So I guess it’s me but I still don’t want to accept it.  In my mind my parents are semi-eternal because the alternative is accepting they are older and that the inevitable will happen one day.  

I really relate to the phrase “I like my little world…people know me here.”  So I’m going to just stay as I am in my little world and let everyone else deal in reality (at least when it comes to my parents). They can clean up the messes that happen….because as you know I Don’t Mop. 

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Ode To My Recliner

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

1. You keep my feet off the ground so my ankles won’t swell.
2. You allow me to recline all the way flat or at various angles.
3. Your headrest moves so I can always see the TV.
4. Your can charge my iPad while I’m playing it.
5. After moving around there is enough room for my dog to cuddle too. (see pic)

I have had recliners in my life off and on over the years. Sofas, individual chairs and now love seats. Each was special in its own way and were wonderful. If you’ve ever known someone who had one or had one yourself then you know how important they are to life.

I can remember being a child at my grandparents house and my Granddaddy having one that was HIS chair. No one sat in it if he was around. It was HIS! It always seemed so big and comfy with that smell that reminded me of him. As I got older it still seemed like the greatest thing (like forbidden fruit) and as you would expect he got even more ornery about anyone using it. He loved his chairs over the years and even had one in his room with his TV so he could watch whatever he wanted. It was Man Cave 1.0 (the first one).

Then my parents bought recliners. We had assigned seats but there was enough room for everyone. When my grandparents would visit I always got kicked out of my seat and “calling it” did nothing. (Neither did calling “Shotgun” to get the front seat in the car…..which was sad since I was an only child.). Then came the day my parents gave my husband and I one of their big individual chairs because they were moving. Later when the matching one didn’t fit at their new condo we got it too.

I honestly believe my marriage has gone well because we had separate recliners to sit in every night and still do. We are close enough to hold hands but not enough to share popcorn. Let me explain the reasoning behind my theory: In my first marriage we had no recliners and it barely lasted a year. My current (and last) marriage has had multiple recliners in various forms and we have been married for 17 years. See???? Recliners = Long Marriage. My parents still have them (new ones not the old ones they bought when I was younger which are probably in a junk heap somewhere) and they have been married for over 35 years. My grandparents had them and they were married for over 50 years.

So if you know someone getting married soon make sure to tell them to get a couple of recliners before their 5th anniversary because it’s like marriage glue. Also, don’t forget to tell them that when things get messy get a mop. Just don’t have them call me because as you know….I Don’t Mop.

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(This was posted to Facebook on December 29, 2018)

My Brain Is Structurally Sound

Hey everyone it’s been a long time since I posted anything and for that I’m very sorry. Things have been very chaotic for the last few months. I took on a new job which has kept me very busy but is one of the most incredible career moves I have ever made. (I’ll talk more about that another time.) This post is about explaining what has happened over the last few months for me medically.

As some of you might know I was diagnosed with early stage vascular dementia. This was after multiple tests including MRIs, CT scans, and other intelligence and memory testing. Multiple doctors had agreed that it was the correct diagnosis. So I started planning for the day that I would not remember anything in my life anymore. Some things were hard to think about:

  1. How would my family feel when I couldn’t remember them.
  2. What kind of home would they put me in?
  3. Would I forget which food I hate and end up having to eat it because I couldn’t remember that I hated it? (Peas….icky, squishy, balls of goo)
  4. What kind of adult diapers are the best and who would change them?
  5. How will I remember all my passwords when I barely remember them now.
  6. Will the Washington Capitals win the Stanley Cup before I lose my memory? Then they did and I wondered how I could try to remember it.
  7. Would my family keep me at home and make me one of those tapes like Drew Barrymore’s character had in Fifty First Dates. (Answer was no because VCRs are no longer around)

Then came the best day! I was seen by the top neurologists at a world renowned University who reviewed all of my tests and decided that my brain was fine. OK they didn’t say fine, they said it was “structurally sound”. Turns out I’m too type-A and that I take on so much that my brain just can’t keep up. Their advice to me was to slow down, stop worrying about everyone/everything, and try to relax. Ha Ha! My parents labeled me the Cruise Director** when I was young and it’s a fitting title. So this was like asking me to stop breathing but I agreed to try.

**Hopefully you know what a cruise director is, if not then think of Julie from the show Love Boat. If you don’t know who that is or the show this might not be the blog for you. Better yet look it up and watch some episodes especially the ones with Charro.

So, what kind of changes did I make? Well, I continued working on my MBA, started a new job (as I said before) and most importantly tried to stop running everyone/everything. Tried as in it lasted 2-3 weeks then I just couldn’t take it. So as you might have guessed I changed nothing. It’s hard to change when you’ve been the same way for so long, but at the age of 47 I am not sure I want to change. There are so many things in my life that give me joy like singing in the car at the top of my lungs, talking to my children and grandchildren, binge watching shows with my husband, and making sure I am informed about my parents physical well-being. (Only child paranoia.)

There is no sense in trying to change when I just don’t want to, plus I like my life messy especially because I Don’t Mop!

(Originally posted to Facebook on December 23, 2018)